This is what I know.

From a conversation with a colleague today:

this is what I know
that this process, although a pain in the ass, and really frustrating
is preparing you for your next position
you will be so incredibly ready to deal with whatever you are handed...because of some of the things that you had to deal with here
you are being prepared
you are getting an experience unlike anyone else, and when you move on
your resume will be effin ridiculous

. . .
My mantra prior to today: in one minute, I can change my attitude. And in that minute, I can change my entire day.

Mantra addendum: this is what I know.

Finding balance between work life and personal life is perhaps the greatest challenge of our field. The students never sleep, the work never stops, and catastrophe can happen at any minute. As such, we are expected to be able to respond with a moment's notice, and our personal lives often get placed on hold.

In my mid-20's quarter life crisis, I wonder, how much of this young life do I put on hold for the sake of the job? For the sake of others, be they students, colleagues, parents, partners? In the months leading up to my wedding, I was hit with a startling realization of my own mortality. These major life transitions tend to bring that out in most - we start to reflect on the life we've lived so far and you realize that twenty-five years have gone by and it barely feels like it, and now we're doing things like getting married and being all grown-up and such.

This week, I learned a friend of mine from college has died - she was 22. What's worse is she has been dead for two years, but because of shoddy police work and the failure to cross-check a missing persons report with an unidentified body, her family only just learned of their daughter's death last week. Two years of not knowing - unimaginable.

In these moments of mortality, we are reminded of ourselves, of our own purpose and goals. What do we seek to bring to this world? To do? To accomplish? How are we to be fulfilled? Have we been fulfilled? What's missing, and better yet, how do we fill in the pieces?

I have been struggling to find that ever elusive Balance, with obstacles at every turn. This week has been a challenge, from one of the hardest things I've had to do professionally (letting go of a student staff member) to a tragic personal loss, to scheduling work vs. religious commitments (Passover happens to fall right smack in the middle of our move-outs). How do I remain motivated? It's been a challenge, but I just keep repeating my mantra: in one minute... only now I begin with: this is what I know.

This is what I know: Tyler Durden says, "You are not your job."
This is what I know: I am not my job. But so much of me is in my job.
This is what I know: Everything in moderation.
This is what I know: Balance does not come naturally, it is a learned skill. Otherwise, we'd all be Gold Medal gymnasts.

This is what I know. In one minute, I can change my attitude. And in that minute, I can change my entire day.

This is what I know.